“Now I am quietly waiting for
the catastrophe of my personality
to seem beautiful again,
and interesting, and modern.”
The above line from the poem “Mayakovsky” by Frank O'Hara leads me to believe that this is a poem about finding yourself, or better yet, figuring out who you are and what you’re supposed to do with yourself from day to day. This particular line spoke to me in a comforting way as it seems to say that everyone feels out of place at times and insecure about something within themselves. There are things that happen or people (Frank mentions his mother in the first line of “Mayakovsky”) that help set us straight again or help us gain back that confidence that makes us succeed. Frank O’Hara was an active member of the New York art scene in the 1950’s after he moved there following his graduation from the University of Michigan. He worked at the front desk of the Museum of Modern Art and this is where many of his famous poems came to fruition. His poetry reflects the love he had for New York and his life there in the fact that he believed that poetry should be written on the spur of the moment, with a personal spontaneity that reflects the artist’s voice and style. Many poems were written about things he observed while most were autobiographical in nature. A lot of his poetry reflects the hard personal struggles he endured as a homosexual in a time when it was a crime. He was completely open about his sexuality, having a series of intense relationships with young male artists and dancers, which served as muses in much of his writing. He was stylish and hip and could be seen at the best art parties the city had to offer.
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